Cross-posted from 12 days of ficmas
Jan. 5th, 2019 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kiramaru7Title: Stupid Chicken!
Fandom: Original
Author: kira
Rating: PG
Character(s): Bernd, James, Amber, Wolfgang(Vati), Didi, Tino
Genre: slice of life
Warnings: none
Words: 1481
Summary: Bernd finds a silly chicken toy in the local thrift store…
Author’s notes: Special thanks to Kat for pinking this for me and all her help. Please note Amber and James belong to Kat, I’m just borrowing them. Please also note that this was inspired by a video short of Jensen Ackles and the silly chicken, which can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w9MdCB4kvw
Bernd and James scoured the thrift store for possible Christmas gifts and decorations. Amid the various elves, Santas, reindeer, table top Christmas trees, ornaments, and lights was a chick with a Santa hat. Bernd was immediately drawn to it. Picking it up, he looked it over and laughed.
“What?” James said as he tried to decide which tree he liked better. He looked over at his friend.
“It’s got a hole in its butt!”
James rolled his eyes and chuckled. “So do you.”
“Yeah, but I don’t lay eggs!” Bernd looked at the chick’s butt. “At least I think it lays eggs…”
“How much is it?”
“Three bucks. You think I should get it?” Bernd grinned.
“I’m not saying you should…” James grinned back at him. “But I’m not saying you shouldn’t.” He put the tree he liked into their shopping cart along with a string of snow covered cactus lights, and a snow globe with Jack Skellington inside that he picked up for Amber. He was not surprised when the chicken went into the cart alongside Bernd’s purchases and the Father Christmas they were splitting the cost of for Vati.
“I think we’re done here,” Bernd said.
“I think so too,” James said as they headed towards the checkout counter. There, they found out from the cashier that the chicken would sing, dance, and lay an egg when you put batteries inside.
Bernd said as they walked out of the thrift store, “I can’t wait to try this out!”
“Me too,” James said. They got into James’ truck and drove off. On the way home they stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some batteries for the chicken. Arriving at Bernd’s house, they carried their packages inside.
“Hey, Amber!” Bernd said as they entered the kitchen. “Look what I got!” Bernd reached into one of the bags, he was carrying, and pulled out the chicken.
James smirked and handed him the batteries. He smiled at his twin sister and waited for Bernd to turn the chicken on.
“Christmas time with so many things to do…” the chicken sang as it bobbed up and down.
Bernd and James exchanged glances as the chicken sang on.
“Now I’m stressed and gassy too…” the chicken sang. It made a rude noise and the egg popped out the back.
Bernd and James laughed. Bernd reached for the egg and put it back in the chicken’s butt as soon as it stopped singing and dancing. James turned it on again. The chicken went through its song and dance, much to the guys’ amusement. Amber, however, thought it was silly and just as juvenile as her brother and friend. She shook her head and sipped her tea, trying to ignore it.
After about the fifth or sixth time, Amber did not know which was getting on her nerves more, the stupid chicken, or Bernd’s insane giggling and James’ chuckling. Their loud, off-key singing, as they sang along with the stupid chicken, was making her eye twitch. Gulping down her tea, she left the kitchen for the peace and quiet of her room in the basement. She could still hear it and the two “numb-nutters” cackling upstairs, but she managed to drown them out thanks to a couple of her favorite CDs. Immersed in a good book, she soon forgot about the chicken.
Amber quickly remembered when she came up to help with dinner. Bernd had the chicken on the kitchen table, where it was singing and dancing for Bernd’s amusement. Vati, on the other hand, looked like he had had enough, but was too polite to say anything. She knew that feeling, and reaching over she switched it off.
“You’re going to wear out the batteries, Bernd.”
His father shot her a grateful look and went back to making dinner. Unfortunately, the chicken had an encore when Bern’s brother Didi came in with his best friend Tino. Before it could play again, Amber turned it off. “Please? I have a headache.” It was not exactly a lie, but Amber figured it was for the better good. While Tino found it just as hysterical as Bernd, Didi seemed mildly amused. Amber could see it getting on his nerves as quickly as it got on hers, if the brief look of relief that flashed across his face was any indication.
Luckily, dinner was a chicken-less affair. Even dessert and clean up time was quiet. Amber prayed Bernd’s fascination with the stupid thing was over. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Over the course of the week, Bernd played with it to the point of singing the stupid song with or without the chicken and Amber wondered if he was aware he was doing it, or it was some evil plan he had concocted to make them all crazy.
“Christmas time with so many things to do…” Bernd sang as he made a cup of cocoa for himself and Amber.
It was all she could do to keep from throttling him. Even though the batteries had died, she could still hear that stupid song. It was like the worst ear-worm in the history of ear-worms. She swore she could hear it in her sleep and had a feeling it was the cause of poor Vati muttering softly to himself in German. As she sipped her cocoa she plotted ways to get rid of it. Most of the things she came up with, unfortunately, would hurt his feelings, but she had to ditch that chicken somehow. It was for everyone’s sanity including her own, right?
“Amber? Do you wanna come with while I go to the pharmacy to get more batteries?” Bernd said as he got up to put his mug in the sink.
“Uh, no. I still need to wrap my presents.” She got up to put her mug in the sink. “Why don’t you go and I’ll wash the mugs.” Amber smiled at him.
“Okay!” Bernd kissed her cheek, before heading to the mudroom. By the time she had finished washing her mug, he was pulling out of the driveway. “Vati!” she called out as she left the kitchen.
“I’m in here,” Wolfgang said. “Is something wrong?” He closed his book and set it aside.
Amber stood in the threshold to his study. “Bernd just left to get more batteries and we need to do something with that stupid chicken. If I hear it singing one more time, I think I’m going to kill something.”
Wolfgang grinned. “You too?” he chuckled.
“Yeah! Why do you think Didi fled to Tino’s?”
Vati laughed. “So what should we do?”
“Chop it’s head off, salt the damned thing, and burn it.”
“Sounds like a plan. Maybe near the old wood pile? It flooded over there when it rained last night, so I don’t think he’ll notice if we dig a hole.”
“Let’s do it!”
They had no sooner finished burying the chicken and getting inside, when Bernd pulled up. He parked the car and headed inside. After hanging up his coat, he went into the kitchen. Bernd frowned when he noticed the chicken was not on the table where he had left it. “Hey, Amber?!”
“What?”
“Have you seen my chicken? I got new batteries for it.”
“Ummm…” Amber gave him her best innocent look.
“What?” Bernd frowned.
“It ran away from home.” She also frowned. “How should I know?! I’m not your chicken’s keeper.”
“Oh…” Bernd sighed. “Hey, Vati?” he said when his father entered the kitchen. “Have you seen my chicken?”
Before he could reply, Amber blurted out, “It ‘fell’ off the table and broke, so me and Vati buried him out back.”
“Yeah?” Bernd blinked in surprise.
“Ja,” his father said. “I tried to fix it, but it was hopeless, so Amber suggested we bury it.”
“Oh… Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“Bernd Honey, it was so badly broken and I knew you’d be terribly upset by it, so I thought it was best to spare your feelings as much as possible.”
“Awe…” Bernd turned beet red. “Thanks.” He hugged her and his father. He put the batteries in the junk drawer and looked so sad, that Amber felt bad about getting rid of the chicken. She watched the play of emotions that flitted across his face, before settling on his familiar smirk.
“What?” Amber said. As much as she regretted things, she hoped he did not somehow manage to find another chicken.
“I just remembered I filmed him with my phone!” He quickly found it on his phone and hit play.
“Christmas time with so many things to do…”
Bernd chuckled as he left the kitchen.
Amber face-palmed. She looked over at Wolfgang, who silently shook his head. Amber wondered if there was a way to delete that video from Bernd’s phone, without him knowing… or better yet, in her opinion, getting him to delete himself.
Fandom: Original
Author: kira
Rating: PG
Character(s): Bernd, James, Amber, Wolfgang(Vati), Didi, Tino
Genre: slice of life
Warnings: none
Words: 1481
Summary: Bernd finds a silly chicken toy in the local thrift store…
Author’s notes: Special thanks to Kat for pinking this for me and all her help. Please note Amber and James belong to Kat, I’m just borrowing them. Please also note that this was inspired by a video short of Jensen Ackles and the silly chicken, which can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w9MdCB4kvw
Bernd and James scoured the thrift store for possible Christmas gifts and decorations. Amid the various elves, Santas, reindeer, table top Christmas trees, ornaments, and lights was a chick with a Santa hat. Bernd was immediately drawn to it. Picking it up, he looked it over and laughed.
“What?” James said as he tried to decide which tree he liked better. He looked over at his friend.
“It’s got a hole in its butt!”
James rolled his eyes and chuckled. “So do you.”
“Yeah, but I don’t lay eggs!” Bernd looked at the chick’s butt. “At least I think it lays eggs…”
“How much is it?”
“Three bucks. You think I should get it?” Bernd grinned.
“I’m not saying you should…” James grinned back at him. “But I’m not saying you shouldn’t.” He put the tree he liked into their shopping cart along with a string of snow covered cactus lights, and a snow globe with Jack Skellington inside that he picked up for Amber. He was not surprised when the chicken went into the cart alongside Bernd’s purchases and the Father Christmas they were splitting the cost of for Vati.
“I think we’re done here,” Bernd said.
“I think so too,” James said as they headed towards the checkout counter. There, they found out from the cashier that the chicken would sing, dance, and lay an egg when you put batteries inside.
Bernd said as they walked out of the thrift store, “I can’t wait to try this out!”
“Me too,” James said. They got into James’ truck and drove off. On the way home they stopped at the pharmacy to pick up some batteries for the chicken. Arriving at Bernd’s house, they carried their packages inside.
“Hey, Amber!” Bernd said as they entered the kitchen. “Look what I got!” Bernd reached into one of the bags, he was carrying, and pulled out the chicken.
James smirked and handed him the batteries. He smiled at his twin sister and waited for Bernd to turn the chicken on.
“Christmas time with so many things to do…” the chicken sang as it bobbed up and down.
Bernd and James exchanged glances as the chicken sang on.
“Now I’m stressed and gassy too…” the chicken sang. It made a rude noise and the egg popped out the back.
Bernd and James laughed. Bernd reached for the egg and put it back in the chicken’s butt as soon as it stopped singing and dancing. James turned it on again. The chicken went through its song and dance, much to the guys’ amusement. Amber, however, thought it was silly and just as juvenile as her brother and friend. She shook her head and sipped her tea, trying to ignore it.
After about the fifth or sixth time, Amber did not know which was getting on her nerves more, the stupid chicken, or Bernd’s insane giggling and James’ chuckling. Their loud, off-key singing, as they sang along with the stupid chicken, was making her eye twitch. Gulping down her tea, she left the kitchen for the peace and quiet of her room in the basement. She could still hear it and the two “numb-nutters” cackling upstairs, but she managed to drown them out thanks to a couple of her favorite CDs. Immersed in a good book, she soon forgot about the chicken.
Amber quickly remembered when she came up to help with dinner. Bernd had the chicken on the kitchen table, where it was singing and dancing for Bernd’s amusement. Vati, on the other hand, looked like he had had enough, but was too polite to say anything. She knew that feeling, and reaching over she switched it off.
“You’re going to wear out the batteries, Bernd.”
His father shot her a grateful look and went back to making dinner. Unfortunately, the chicken had an encore when Bern’s brother Didi came in with his best friend Tino. Before it could play again, Amber turned it off. “Please? I have a headache.” It was not exactly a lie, but Amber figured it was for the better good. While Tino found it just as hysterical as Bernd, Didi seemed mildly amused. Amber could see it getting on his nerves as quickly as it got on hers, if the brief look of relief that flashed across his face was any indication.
Luckily, dinner was a chicken-less affair. Even dessert and clean up time was quiet. Amber prayed Bernd’s fascination with the stupid thing was over. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Over the course of the week, Bernd played with it to the point of singing the stupid song with or without the chicken and Amber wondered if he was aware he was doing it, or it was some evil plan he had concocted to make them all crazy.
“Christmas time with so many things to do…” Bernd sang as he made a cup of cocoa for himself and Amber.
It was all she could do to keep from throttling him. Even though the batteries had died, she could still hear that stupid song. It was like the worst ear-worm in the history of ear-worms. She swore she could hear it in her sleep and had a feeling it was the cause of poor Vati muttering softly to himself in German. As she sipped her cocoa she plotted ways to get rid of it. Most of the things she came up with, unfortunately, would hurt his feelings, but she had to ditch that chicken somehow. It was for everyone’s sanity including her own, right?
“Amber? Do you wanna come with while I go to the pharmacy to get more batteries?” Bernd said as he got up to put his mug in the sink.
“Uh, no. I still need to wrap my presents.” She got up to put her mug in the sink. “Why don’t you go and I’ll wash the mugs.” Amber smiled at him.
“Okay!” Bernd kissed her cheek, before heading to the mudroom. By the time she had finished washing her mug, he was pulling out of the driveway. “Vati!” she called out as she left the kitchen.
“I’m in here,” Wolfgang said. “Is something wrong?” He closed his book and set it aside.
Amber stood in the threshold to his study. “Bernd just left to get more batteries and we need to do something with that stupid chicken. If I hear it singing one more time, I think I’m going to kill something.”
Wolfgang grinned. “You too?” he chuckled.
“Yeah! Why do you think Didi fled to Tino’s?”
Vati laughed. “So what should we do?”
“Chop it’s head off, salt the damned thing, and burn it.”
“Sounds like a plan. Maybe near the old wood pile? It flooded over there when it rained last night, so I don’t think he’ll notice if we dig a hole.”
“Let’s do it!”
They had no sooner finished burying the chicken and getting inside, when Bernd pulled up. He parked the car and headed inside. After hanging up his coat, he went into the kitchen. Bernd frowned when he noticed the chicken was not on the table where he had left it. “Hey, Amber?!”
“What?”
“Have you seen my chicken? I got new batteries for it.”
“Ummm…” Amber gave him her best innocent look.
“What?” Bernd frowned.
“It ran away from home.” She also frowned. “How should I know?! I’m not your chicken’s keeper.”
“Oh…” Bernd sighed. “Hey, Vati?” he said when his father entered the kitchen. “Have you seen my chicken?”
Before he could reply, Amber blurted out, “It ‘fell’ off the table and broke, so me and Vati buried him out back.”
“Yeah?” Bernd blinked in surprise.
“Ja,” his father said. “I tried to fix it, but it was hopeless, so Amber suggested we bury it.”
“Oh… Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“Bernd Honey, it was so badly broken and I knew you’d be terribly upset by it, so I thought it was best to spare your feelings as much as possible.”
“Awe…” Bernd turned beet red. “Thanks.” He hugged her and his father. He put the batteries in the junk drawer and looked so sad, that Amber felt bad about getting rid of the chicken. She watched the play of emotions that flitted across his face, before settling on his familiar smirk.
“What?” Amber said. As much as she regretted things, she hoped he did not somehow manage to find another chicken.
“I just remembered I filmed him with my phone!” He quickly found it on his phone and hit play.
“Christmas time with so many things to do…”
Bernd chuckled as he left the kitchen.
Amber face-palmed. She looked over at Wolfgang, who silently shook his head. Amber wondered if there was a way to delete that video from Bernd’s phone, without him knowing… or better yet, in her opinion, getting him to delete himself.
