kiramaru7 | Cross-posted from Hentai Contest

Title: Look What I Got!!
Fandom: Hetalia
Author: kira
Chars/Pairs: Germany/Italy
Genres: romance, humor
Warnings: none
Word Count: 634
Summary: Italy interrupts Germany’s special “me time” to show his new vulva…

“Germany!! Oh, Germany!!” Italy cried as he pulled up in front of his friend’s house in his new car. He got it used from Sweden, but he did not care as the car was new to him. Besides, now that he had his own car to tinker with, his friend Germany would be doubly happy in his humble opinion since his own car would be left alone. “I’ve got something to show you!!”

Germany was in his room, perusing his stack of girly magazines that Italy got him two years ago for Christmas. He was looking at a particularly tasty fräulein who was dressed in nothing more than a garter belt and a smile. Germany loved the way she was showing off her knödels and schnitzel… especially her schnitzel. He sighed. That was the kind of woman he was saving himself for. The fact that she had a head full of auburn curls was a happy coincidence.

He reached inside the red silk boxers, another Christmas gift from Italy, and stroked his little sausage. Closing his eyes, he imagined the cute little fräulein with the big knödels was calling his name. The fact that she sounded like his little buddy was immaterial, in fact, it added to his pleasure, not that Germany would ever admit it. He moaned softly, inching closer and closer to his release, when the door banged open and Italy entered the room.

“Hey, Germany! Want to…” he trailed off as he watched his best friend fiddling around with something in his boxers. “Germany, are the new underwear I got you too tight? I can always get you a new pair!” He beamed at his fellow country.

Germany sputtered wordlessly, all the tension that had been nearly drained from his body, coming back tenfold. “NO!”

“Then you want to come see my new tomato? She’s really sweet! I’ll let you take her out for a ride too!”

Germany blinked. How many times had he told Italy he was saving himself for that special someone, and here the idiot was offering him a woman? Was he out of his mind?

“Just fix your ummm… sausage…? And let’s go! Wait ‘til you see her! I got her used from Sweden; he said she’s a Vulva!! She’s really fast too!”

At that moment, Germany was certain of one thing, Italy was whacked out of his mind if he thought he was going to go near a woman of ill repute! He wanted his first time to be special and that was not the way to do it. As if he would dirty his little sausage with some used Swedish vulva!! No, he had better things to do with himself than that! What he had not counted on, was Italy’s powers of persuasion. They were the same powers that had him dressed in his red boxers when Italy gave them to him for Christmas. He did not know who had been more shocked at the time, himself or Austria. Still… he had no intension of meeting a woman of ill repute, no matter how sweet and fast she was, and yet, the next thing Germany knew, he was dressed in his jodhpurs and boots outside his house, looking at Italy’s new car.

“Dumm-kopf!” he shouted at Italy as he smacked his little buddy upside the head. “That’s not a vulva! That’s a Volvo!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” Italy pouted. “Ve… Germany… That hurt!!”

“Sorry…”

“So you wanna ride?”

Germany sighed; his little sausage would have to wait. He got into the car and when Italy took off; he prayed he would make it home in one piece. Still, the gelato they got and the cute auburn haired Italian fräuleins with the big knödels they met in town was worth every hair-raising minute of the trip there…