kiramaru7 | Cross-posted from hentai contest

Title: Poopka and Peachy Snaps
Fandom: Hetalia
Author: kira
Chars/Pairs: chibi!Prussia, Germania, Roma, chibi!Austria, chibi!Hungary
Genres: general
Warnings: none
Word Count: 666
Summary: Part of my chibi!Prussia’verse, the lil guy overhears his father, Germania & his friend, Roma, talking about a drink called “sex on the beach” and asks what it is. Armed with some new found knowledge he goes to inform his friends, Austria and Hungary…
Author’s note: Special thanks to my beta, Jen, for looking this over for me, and Kat for giving me a plot bunny to play with…

Prussia slowly inched away from where his baby brother was playing with Roma’s little grandsons. The babies were so boring, he wanted to poke them with Herr Stick, but since Vati had warned him about that, he decided to take Herr Stick and head closer to the adults. Besides, they looked like they were having fun, with all the drinking and laughing going on.

Roma, heedless of Prussia playing at his feet, laughed uproariously at his own joke. He could barely get the punch line out, but amid the laughter, he managed to choke out, “Sex on the beach!”

Prussia smiled when Vati laughed along with him. He had no idea what was so funny about “sex on the beach” so he decided to ask. Putting on his best cute and innocent face, he looked up from where he was playing and said, “Hey, Vati?”

Germania seemed to notice his son for the first time. “What?” Verdammt, I hope he didn’t hear what we were talking about…

“What’s ‘sex on the beach’?”

Oh hell! “Uh,” Germania sputtered wordlessly.

“Something you’ll like when you’re older,” Roma said with a wink.

Germania punched his friend’s arm, before launching into a speech about where babies come from. He felt cheeks heating up while his son stared intently at him. Roma’s laughter was not helping either.

After about five minutes of his Vati’s ramblings, Prussia got bored. He could careless where babies came from; having already heard this same sputtering red-faced speech the time he asked why Fräulein Greece was so fat. He sighed and was about to ask if he could go play with his friends when Roma said something far more interesting.
“Peach schnapps and vodka; don’t forget the best part, Germania!”

When Vati swore at his friend in Latin, Prussia knew that was his cue to beat a hasty retreat as Herr Switch was about to make an appearance. The little country knew from experience that his Vati only used Latin when he was really, really pissed. “Vati, I’m going to go play with my friends now! Bye!” Grabbing Herr Stick, Prussia went to go find Austria and Hungary.

He found them, playing doctor in Hungary’s front yard. Prussia snickered every time Hungary poked a very naked Austria’s weenie. He was torn between stealing the idiot’s clothes and getting his arse kicked by Hungary, and lording his new found knowledge over them. New found knowledge won out. “Hey, you two!” he said as he sauntered over to them.

“What?” Hungary glared at him.

“I know something you don’t know!” Prussia grinned.

“Oh yeah? What?”

“I know what ‘sex on the beach’ is,” Prussia proudly declared.

Hungary rolled her eyes. “So do I!” she shot back, even though she had no clue what it was.

“Yeah? Then what is it?” Prussia said.

“It’s ummm…” Hungary stammered, “ummm…” She blushed at thought of being caught in a lie and by Prussia of all people.

“What is it?” Austria asked as he struggled to get dressed.

Prussia grinned. He paced back and forth, occasionally pointing Herr Stick at them as he explained. “Well… When men get together to make a baby, you need poopka and peachy snaps and a naked girl to pour it in a glass with snow and… Are you listening?” He poked Hungary in the stomach with Herr Stick.

“Of course I am, dumbass!” she retorted.

“So if a naked girl gives you peachie snaps and poopka you’ll make a baby?” Austria’s eyes went wide.

“Yup!” Prussia smugly replied. “So all we need is a naked girl and peachy snaps and… ummm… hi, Vati!”

“It’s time to go home, Sohn, say goodbye to your friends.” Germania folded his arms across his chest. That Austria kid was half dressed and he did not want to know what they had been up to.

Crud! I’m in for it now! “Bye!” Prussia took off, his father chasing after him. The last thing he wanted was a meeting with Herr Switch...