Cross-posted from Koinuchaos

[kiramaru7]

Title: Lonely Little Kitsch
Author: kira
Rating: OT
Characters/Pairings: Hiten/Byakuya
Genre: Romance
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2071
Summary: Set in my modern AU’verse, Samurai’s last night on their farewell tour as Hiten and his boyfriend Byakuya figure out what the future holds for them…
Author’s note: Thanks to my beta, Jen, for looking this over for me.




In the year of the scavenger, the season of the bitch
Sashay on the boardwalk, scurry to the ditch
Just another future song, lonely little kitsch
(There's gonna be sorrow) try and wake up tomorrow… from “Diamond Dogs” by David Bowie


Hiten basked in the applause that flowed out from the audience. It was the last show on the their farewell tour, Hiten and his fellow band mates deciding to go on a good note, while he was still healthy enough to do so. He blew a kiss into the audience, smiling from ear to ear, until the stage grew black and he carefully made his way offstage with the others. His boyfriend, Byakuya, was waiting for him backstage. A quick hug and Hiten was heading for the showers in the arena’s locker room. He undressed slowly, letting his clothes fall to the floor in a jumbled heap. He may have been HIV positive, but Hiten knew that it was only a matter of time before he came down with full blown AIDS. Besides, this was it as far as touring went, so taking care of the costumes he wore onstage seemed pointless now.

Grabbing a towel and a bar of soap, he headed towards the showers. After setting his towel down, Hiten stepped into the shower and turned on the taps. He stood under the shower head, letting the warm water course down his body. Hiten appreciated the others giving him a measure of privacy, dealing with the press for him, while he made a vain attempt at washing his troubles away. The sound of footsteps echoed softly in the empty locker room. “What do you want?” Hiten said as he rinsed off the soap.

“The same thing I always want,” Byakuya said, “you.” He stood there, holding the towel as he watched his boyfriend bathe. It was a scene that had replayed itself countless times in their relationship and would continue to until Hiten became too sick for anything more than a sponge bath.

“I told you, kid, you can’t have me.”

“But I can still dream, right?”

“Yeah…” Hiten turned off the taps. Turning to face Byakuya, he said, “Can I have my towel?”

Byakuya laughed. “Yeah…” He stepped forward, wrapping it around his boyfriend, and kissing his cheek. “As much as I’d love to watch you prancing around naked, you need to hurry up and get dressed. Rolling Stone is here and they want an interview.”

“Yeah? Well they can kiss my ass.”

“I’m sure they’d like that too.” Byakuya smiled impishly. “I know I would.”

Hiten let out a little sound of amusement mixed with disgust. “I’m sure you would.”

Byakuya shook his head as he stepped back. “Just hurry up, Hi-chan, okay?”

Hiten nodded. He took the towel from his shoulders, wrapping it around his hips. Without saying another word, he walked past his boyfriend to where he had left his street clothes. Byakuya followed a few minutes later. Hiten ignored him as he got dressed. This whole tour had been a bittersweet moment for him and he did not know whether to be sad it was finished or relived it was all over and done. Tugging on his band t-shirt, he sat next to Byakuya to put on his shoes and sighed.

“Come on, old man, it’s not the end of the world,” Byakuya teased. “You guys can still go into the studio and make records.” He put his hand on his boyfriend’s thigh. “All you gave up was the hassle of touring.”

“I know…”

“So stop acting like you’re going to your grandmother’s funeral.” Byakuya narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re still alive, so stop acting like you’re gonna fucking drop dead any minute now!”

“You don’t like it, you know where the door is,” Hiten quietly replied.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily!” Byakuya looked away. “Damn it, Hiten! It’s not a life sentence!”

Hiten sighed. “You don’t get it, do you? Everything I want, I can’t have!” He reached for his boyfriend’s hand, holding it like it was a lifeline and he was afraid to let go. “I don’t…” Hiten caught his gaze and held it, Byakuya visibly flinching from the pain he saw in Hiten’s eyes. “I don’t want to die…”

“Nobody does, Hi-chan.” Byakuya sighed. “But you could get wasted and OD, or get in a car accident and die, or get struck by lightning, or fucking go to sleep tonight and never wake up. Dude, when it’s your time to go, you’ll go, but damn it! Live a little beforehand!” He stood up to go. “You want me to meet you inside?”

“No…”

They walked together in companionable silence, despite their argument as it was old familiar territory and deep down they both knew Byakuya was right. Upon entering the backstage area, they went their separate ways, Hiten turning up the charm as he went over to where his brother, Manten, was holding court with the reporters. Byakuya played his part as a hanger-on, mingling with the crowd backstage in what he considered Hiten’s vain attempt at keeping their private lives private. While he hated to admit it, it worked and it gave him some expose and with it the resulting modeling work. Picking up a beer from the makeshift bar, Byakuya watched his boyfriend from the shadows. Hiten was in rare form, chatting up the reporters from various magazines, and Rolling Stone in particular, and Byakuya was hard put to suppress a smile.

Just like that, things came to an abrupt end. The next thing Byakuya knew, he was being ushered into a waiting limousine with Hiten. The ride back to their hotel was uneventful. They were both tired and glad to be a train ride away from home, not that they would take the train tomorrow morning. They still had one more limo ride left, before this chapter in their life was gone for good.

The limousine pulled up in front of The Four Seasons Hotel and Hiten could not wait to get out. As if sensing his impatience, the driver quickly put it in park and got out. He hurried around to open the door. Hiten got out followed by his boyfriend. Byakuya paused to tip the driver, and after bidding him goodnight, he hurried after Hiten into the hotel. He found him waiting by the bank of elevators. When the doors opened, they got inside and Byakuya put his arms around his boyfriend and nuzzled his cheek.

“Not here, Kuya-chan.” Hiten tried to remove his arms form around his neck.

“Why not? Hi-chan, I’m sure no one gives a rat’s patootie about us.”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be outed by someone’s gossip about what they saw in an elevator.”

“Fine!” Byakuya backed away.

“I’m sorry, Kuya-chan.”

“No you’re not!”

“Please, I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Then make love to me when we get back to the room.”

“You know we can’t, Kuya-chan.”

“Why not?! And don’t give me that crap about AIDS!”

“Sssh!”

Byakuya heaved a long suffering sigh. “Hi-chan, don’t you sssh me! I’ve deferred you on this for the past two years and I’m fucking tired of it! I just… I just want to have a normal life with you.”

“I know, but…” Hiten cupped his boyfriend’s cheek. “I wish I had met you sooner… my life probably wouldn’t be so fucked up if I had,” he said, ending on a bitter note.

Byakuya felt his eyes welling up with tears. “I know…” He slipped into Hiten’s embrace.

“Sssh…” Hiten soothed as he held the younger man close.

“I thought I told you not to sssh me,” Byakuya said softly his voice catching at the end.

“Yeah, well… uh, we all know how well I listen to things.”

“Yeah…” Byakuya replied as the elevator pinged open on their floor. Hiten felt a moment of panic, but since no one was standing there, he walked out of the elevator and down the hall to his room. Byakuya followed behind him. He knew he would not miss any of this for one minute, but he wondered if his boyfriend was going to be alright with his decision to retire from the road. Hiten loved the limelight, but they both knew that now that it was just a matter of time before he came down with full blown AIDS. Touring was hard enough without adding that into the mix. Byakuya sighed softly as he thought about their future.

“You coming, or are you planning on sleeping in the hall tonight?” Hiten called out from the doorway, pulling Byakuya form his reverie.

“Keep your pants on! I’m coming.” He hurried inside and Hiten closed the door behind him, shutting the world out. Byakuya walked over to the floor to ceiling window and looked out at the Tokyo skyline. “It’s like Manhattan or London, or Paris, but not really, you know?”

“Yeah…” Hiten said as he came up behind him. In a rare show of affection, he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, resting his chin on the younger man’s shoulder.

Byakuya reached up, wrapping his arms around Hiten’s. “Think you’ll be happy at home?”

“Yeah… and if I get tired of it, we can always travel and really see the places we’ve been to.”

Byakuya nodded, although they both knew that that was never going to happen. Hiten was retiring from the world and it saddened Byakuya that it all was because of a few stupid choices made in the heat of passion. “Let’s go to bed, we’re both tired.”

“Aren’t you gonna shower?” Hiten let go and stepped back.

“Yeah, but I’ll be quick, Hi-chan.” Byakuya kissed his cheek. “You don’t have to wait up for me.”

“I know, but it’s not like you’ll be in there forever.” Hiten pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside.

“You never know, I could decide to shower all night,” Byakuya teased.

“You won’t, you’ll be out of there in a heartbeat,” Hiten said as he took off his pants. He padded over to the bed in his underwear and turned down the sheets. Getting in the bed he said, “See you in a bit.”

Byakuya snorted in amusement. Smirking at his boyfriend, he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper, before shimmying out of them. He stood there clad only in his t-shirt and socks. “You like what you see?” he purred as he stroked himself.

“Always…”

“I could put on a show for you.” Byakuya took off his socks.

“I know, but I’m tired, Kuya-chan…” Hiten sighed. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay.” Byakuya turned, pulling his t-shirt off, before heading towards the bathroom. He took his time, moving his long hair over his shoulder and giving his boyfriend a nice view of his butt, before he disappeared into the bathroom.

Hiten lay there, listening to the faint sound of water running as he tried to ignore his burgeoning erection. He could picture the water running all over Byakuya’s body and he moaned softly. He wished he could touch him and do all the things he wanted to do him, but fear of infecting him, kept their sex life firmly rooted in the realm of fantasy and solo performances. As much as he wanted to play with himself, Hiten refrained from doing so. For one thing, he would have to flush the “evidence” since leaving the tissue in the wastepaper basket, opened him up for a potential lawsuit should the unthinkable happen. For another, he did not want Byakuya knowing what he was doing, even if that was silly, and getting up with a wad of used tissues in his hand would certainly leave no doubt as to what he had been doing. Never mind that his boyfriend was probably doing the same thing in the shower.

While he lay there, carrying on a silent debate with himself, Hiten heard Byakuya turn off the water. Sighing softly, he waited for his boyfriend’s return. Byakuya turned off the lights and padded naked in the dark towards the bed. He turned back the covers and crawled inside. Snuggling up next to Hiten, he kissed his cheek. “’night, Hi-chan. Sweet dreams.”

Hiten lifted his arm as best he could, letting Byakuya snuggle closer. “You too, Kuya-chan.” They lay in the darkness, taking what little physical affection they could, although they did love each other very much. Both knew their limitations and while they were not happy with them, they made do with what they had. As they held each other close, they waited for sleep to take them…