*sighs*

[kiramaru7]

I've been feeling a bit down lately and I can't seem to get my self esteem back up to to where I don't feel completely useless. ^^; So I spent the day amusing myself by writing for myself, something Kat suggested I do. And while I still have a ton of things to knock off on my writing to do list, which is probably not helping me any, I did write my first Prumano fic! vampirenaomi writes some awesome Prumano and after her latest, I decided to try my hand at it for the "bite" prompt at Hentai Contest. XD Loving Spamano as much as I do, I did have a bit of trouble getting it started, but I think I did okay with it. I'm also going try my hand at writing some PruRus. I found a pic I liked by an artist whose work I love at DA & she's got a thing for that pairing. XD She also loved the PruAus fic I wrote for Hentai's "Glasses" prompt, so hopefully she'll like this fic too. I also managed to write for Koinuchaos' last prompt of the summer, all I need to do is read it over. :D I still wish I felt the pull to write IY that I once had, but I don't. *sighs* Still mixing it up & writing for characters that I didn't really write for before does help. I just wish more people would write there. *sighs*

I also got a CB Ice egg from my wifey-chan, Sakura! YAY! So things are starting to look a lil better, but I still wish I felt better about my writing than I do. *sighs* Like I said, having that huge to do list isn't helping. ^^; Maybe it's just an artistic thing, where you just feel like you suck no matter how well you do at it. *sighs* Who knows? *shrugs* Maybe I should do what Kat also suggested & write for SPN Big Pretzel. XD While they are the nicest bunch of people over there, I have no idea what to write, although, I'm thinking something with the wee!chesters. Maybe I'll write to my pic. XD

Anyway... I guess you're all sick of my whine & cheese fest so I'll stop now & try & write.

Comments

[baroqueangel.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just an artistic thing, where you just feel like you suck no matter how well you do at it.

You just described how I feel all the time *hugs*

It passes, and you'll get back to feeling yourself in no time :) You're a fab writer Kira, believe in yourself <3

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Awe.. *huggles* You too, Angel? But you're an awesome writer!


I hope so, I hate feeling like this. *sighs* Thanks, Angel! *huggles*

[vampirenaomi.livejournal.com]

I hope you'll feel better soon! It's pretty normal for artistic people to feel that they aren't good enough at what they do, but that usually just shows how dedicated they are. Writers tend to be their own worst critics. I'm looking forward to reading all your new fics! I've loved all the previous ones by you that I've read.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *huggles* Yeah? I never used to feel like this, but lately, I just can't seem to shake it. ^^; You know, I never thought of it that way. I always feel like I HAVE to write something for the comms I'm in or else people will be disappointed or feel bad no one's writing. ^^; And it's not that I hate what I write, it's that I feel like no one likes what I'm writing. I sometimes feel like I can put up a blank page & no one would notice the difference. XD

*blushes* Thanks, that does make me feel a lil better. *huggles* I do try to write stuff people will want to read & enjoy and I'm glad you like my stuff, still, I can't help wondering if I really do suck at what I do, you know? I wish I could shake that feeling, cuz I used to never care what people thought of my work, cuz I wrote for me & everything else was gravy. *sighs*

[geeky-ramblings.livejournal.com]

As you always told me write what you enjoy and not what others want you to write. Try giving yourself different prompts than what is giving for contest writing. Take a break from it for awhile just to have some time for relaxation.

I honestly wasn't too up to writing once my Glee muse died but I found Teen Wolf and a lovely community that has a prompt a week. It helps keep the creative juices flowing.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

I know, but the trouble is I've been doing that, but I still feel like they think my writing's crap. *sighs* And it doesn't help when someone tells you they thought your fic was better & it should have placed instead of the one that did cuz it wasn't as good. *sighs* But I still feel like no matter what I write, they still don't like it. I can write het, it gets overlooked for yaoi, & my yaoi gets overlooked for het. XD Forget about yuri... they don't even want to know from it. If I wasn't modding in a couple of comms, I would take a break, but I feel it's my comm so I have to write for it. ^^;

I'm loving Hetalia which had made writing IY hard, but I actually muddled through 5 weeks of it. XD A prompt a week is too much for me with all the other stuff I have to write. I was having enough trouble keeping up with Koinuchoas that has a new prompt a week & BIG word count. Maybe if it multifandom, I might have done better, but who knows? *shrugs* I'm going away this weekend, so getting away from the compy, might be what I need. XD

[geeky-ramblings.livejournal.com]

I think that's why I stepped away from contest comms for awhile because they always made me feel crappy even though I knew it was all in my head.

I think all that matter is if you like it. People will like what they want to, it's not a reflection on your writing but what their kink is. Because I always think you writing is fabulous even if I am not into the same fandoms you are. Awe *huggles*

Yeah, I can't even image doing Hojo/Rumiko fics since it's been so long since I wrote IY. Maybe that's what getting you do? The pressure of writing when you really don't have to. You should write when you want to and not when you feel like you have to.

I think the prompt a week is been really helping me. Right now my OTP is two older men. They aren't a popular pairing but people are starting to embrace them :)

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Yeah.. But I'm running 2 comms like that & I'm a silent partner in another. So it's hard to step away. And you're right; it does make you feel crappy.


Awe... *huggles* thanks. Yeah, you probably right about the kink. XD

I know, right? I tried writing Ban & Jak, but it was really HARD! So luckily I had Hiten & Byakuya to fall back on & from there, I was able to ease a bit into the modern AU'verse. XD I know, but when you're running the zoo, you have to go to work, even if you don't feel like it. XD

That's good. I do better when I have more time to think about what I'm writing. I need a few days to let the prompt mellow. XD

Awesomeness! You know me! I always love the least popular pairings! :D

[geeky-ramblings.livejournal.com]

Awe, it's hard when it's your own comms.

It is, I go by the motto of your kink my not be my kink. Like how I love MPREG but others can't stand it LOL.

Serious, I tried once it wasn't the same LOL. HA!

That's cool.

Funny story, when I first started watching Teen Wolf, just like everyone I began shipping Sterek. That lasted all of two days before the thought of boy is Stiles' dad hot ran across my mine. Then I had naughty thoughts of him and Chris together, who is another older man together.

Some how it involved into me alternatively shipping the Sheriff with Chris or another older man Peter LOL!

Let's just say I am glad I love a rare pair because popular pairings has way too much in fighting going on.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Yup. Xd

Exactly. And you know I still love you even if I don't care for it, but you do. *huggles*


XD


Thanks. :D


Awesomeness! I like the older guys too. *snorts* Since Hetalia is all personifications of countries, they're all OLD! XD


That's good! It's nice having multiple pairings to choose from. Sometimes your main OTP doesn't fit the prompt, you have something to fall back on.


Yup! Shipwars are the worst. XD

[geeky-ramblings.livejournal.com]

Yup variety is the spice of life.

Usually I all about the younger guys... not this time LOL!

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Yup! :D


*laughs* Well, older dudes need love too! ;p

[vexed_wench]

*hugs*
I think you are awesome. I promised to remind you anytime you forget.

Fandoms are a fickle thing some are comfort and some just come and go as they see fit.

I love the thought of you writing Wee!Chesters.

Simple things like homeworks, or bedtime rituals, first time they cooked alone.

Oh the 5_prompts you can cross posts into both.

Did you know my Barnabas/Xavier fics in Madrona you seriously influenced. I think they have kind of a modern ear Ban/Jak vibe.
So thanks for that ;)
*huggles*

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*huggles* awe... thanks, vexed! I'm going to take you up on that, cuz there are days when I feel like total crap. Just ask Kat. XD

Oh yeah... But I find multifandom a bit easier than sticking to just one. XD

Yeah? My brother gave me an idea, I need to sit down & write it up for the two of you. ;p

I know that. I have a fic I need to finish for that so I can get my shiny. Since I've spent so much time writing for Koinu, I had to let that one slide. XD


Yeah? I had no idea. XD You're welcome. And thanks! hearing that means a lot to me! *huggles*

[kattrip033.livejournal.com]

You are an awesome writer, Kira.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Thanks, Kat. I know we've hashed this out behind the scenes & I've probably made you crazy about it too. *huggles* thanks for listening to me whine.

[kattrip033.livejournal.com]

You're welcome, Kira. You have not made me crazy and you can "whine" at me anytime. *huggles back*

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

You sure? *huggles* Thanks! *HUGGLES* I always feel better when I do. XD Anytime you need me to return the favor, just whine, okay? :D

[kattrip033.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm sure. *huggles back* You're welcome! ^_^ Will do.

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Okay! *Huggles* Good!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Hugs. hope you feel better.

If it helps, I like your writing. I haven't commented much lately on it because I'm not that familiar with Hetalia (which is what I've been seeing)

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*huggles* Thanks. I actually do feel better after after whining about it, cuz I think I needed to get it out & hearing people feel the same way about their own stuff helps.

Yeah? I didn't know that. XD Thanks! Yeah, I tend to be serially monogamous with my fandoms. Plus Hetalia is one of the few fandoms where I like not only a variety of characters, but a lot of the pairings as well. So I have a lot to play around with. But I really need to get back to my original stuff & finish what I have. I have noted with one I'm working on with my friend Kat that needs to be written up, another I need to revise before I go on, cuz I accidentally contradicted myself & made a very minor character more cruel than they should have been with a snide comment. XD Hard to explain, & most people probably wouldn't notice, but someone did and it bothered me. XD

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

We all go through this I think. I know I do. That's why I was SO flattered when my publisher optioned my novella when it wasn't finished.

As weird as it is, we can even write our own characters OOC or do something we don't like and have to fix it. That's why I was asking for another beta to look at the novella.

and yeah, I'm not really a Hetalia fan

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Yeah? That is just sooo awesoem! I can't say it enough! :D

*laughs* Yeah. XD I think that's what blocked me so much on that story, I got all flustered when I realized that reader was right. XD A beta doing the same thing is one thing, cuz only they've seen it, but to have it out there for everyone to see. ^^; I'll fix it once I write the ending to another fic, since it's the same characters. :D I would love to read it, but I'm going away in a few days, will be back for a week or two before I'm gone again.


It's okay, I still luv ya! ;p

[lynne-monstr.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear you're feeling down about writing. I know how it feels and it's not fun at all. But I'm glad to hear you're still at it, as I always enjoy your stories :) Sometimes it can be vey freeing to leave the to-do list behind and just work on whatever sounds fun at the time. Good luck getting back into it!!

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *huggles* It's been hard, but just "voicing" it out loud & talking to people about it, really helps. I was able to knock off one thing on my to-do list, after the fun of just trying something new. I actually wrote some Prumano yesterday. I need to polish it a bit, but I really happy with the results. :D

I also woke up with a plot bunny nibbling at my toes for some original fic. *is very happy about that* So maybe I just needed to whine for a bit, eh?

[lynne-monstr.livejournal.com]

yay, I'm happy to hear it! And I agree - sometimes just talking about something goes a long way. Enjoy the plot bunnies! Can't wait to see what comes out of it :)

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Awe... thanks! *huggles* Yup! Thanks, I started something last night that's original ficcage. I think I'll post my Prumano fic a bit later, it's for hentai Contest, but we don't care how old it is or where it's been posted. If it fits the prompt & word count, go ahead & use it. ;p

[damianalghul.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I know how you feel about the useless thing..it can make you really depressed. But it's nice to see you doing something creative! God knows I LOVE to write,yet I NEVER finish an story,,,,

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

*nods* it does!! Thanks! I did pull out of it, so that's good, ne?

XD I have a few of those floating around too. *huggles*

[damianalghul.livejournal.com]

GOOD! That's my girl! -hugs-

LOL

[kiramaru7.livejournal.com]

Awe... *HUGGLES*


;p